The 10 Roles Applied

Stories are powerful tools to bring to life the experience of the Third Side. Stories can transform one’s understanding and even at times provide guidance and inspiration to those in conflict. These stories are a few of the many 3S stories that are being shared around the world. The stories here are grouped into general stories, and stories emphasizing each of the nine thirdside roles.


The Bystander Effect and The Third Side

It was a cold winter’s night, at 3.15 am, on March 13, 1964, when Kitty Genovese, a then 28-year-old manager of a bar, was returning home to her apartment in Queens, New York. She had parked her car about 100 feet from her apartment’s door when she was approached by Winston Mosely, a business machines operator on the prowl for potential victims. Moseley ran after her, quickly overtook her and stabbed her twice in the back. Genovese screamed. Almost all neighbors had their windows closed and very few deciphered it as a cry for help.[1] One of the witnessing neighbors ...

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March of Hope: How Israeli – Palestinian Women Wage Peace

* * * Hope was lost when talks to resolve the long standing conflict between Israel and Palestine failed in April 2014. This was the first time since President Obama’s tenure commenced, that the conflict was attempted to be directly discussed by the leadership of Israel and Palestine, in an effort to resolve their disputes and bring about peace in their nations. The long standing nature of the conflict has resulted in deeply rooted emotional hostilities as well as extreme political and societal distrust on both sides. The most logical outcome, under the circumstances, ...

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The purpose of Protest – A key tool for the Witness and Equalizer: The example of Colin Kaepernick

*** It was a bright sunny late August day in Santa Clara California.  The stadium was packed with San Francisco 49er fans.  The pre-season game was about to begin like any other National Football League (NFL) event – with the singing of the National Anthem.  The announcer’s melodramatic voice emerged through the loud speaker,  “Would you all please rise and remove your caps for the singing of our National Anthem.” Reverberations rippled through the stadium.  All rose.  But one. Colin Kaepernick, once a promising star quarterback with the San Francisco ...

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Mosques do the Opposite of Terrorism: They Diffuse Peace and Dialogue

…said Mohmmed ben Mohammed, a member of the Union of the Islamic Communities in Italy, in the aftermath of the bloody attack on the Saint-Etienne-du-Rouvray Church near Rouen, about 77 miles away from Paris. Many from the Muslim community in the Rouen region, in France, reached out in solidarity to the victims and the family of those affected. It is in times of crisis that we can distinguish our friends from our foes. It is also in times of crisis that the Third Side principles become so very crucial, that the creative people and communities automatically and ...

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The Peacekeeper: A Simple but Powerful Gesture

Herman Engel was out for a walk with his wife in lower Manhattan. As the couple was crossing the street at the corner, a speeding car screeched to a halt, missing them by inches. In fear and rage, Engel slammed his fist on the hood of the car. Furious, the young man driving the car got out, shouting, "Why'd you hit my car?" Engel shouted back, "You nearly killed my wife and me!" A crowd gathered. Engel was white, the driver was black, and suddenly the scene took on racial overtones. As people began to take sides, it looked as if the situation might escalate into a ...

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The Peacekeeper: Risking Life to Save Life

In August 1993, Sophelia White entered a hospital in southern California with a gun, proceeded up to the third-floor nursery, and wildly fired six shots at nurse Elizabeth Staten whom she accused of stealing her husband and children. Wounded, Staten fled downstairs, but White caught up with her at the chart desk and told her, "Prepare to die. Open your mouth." As she took aim, Nurse Joan Black intervened. She crossed the room, wrapped her right arm around White. "I figured if she could feel my body, maybe she wouldn't kill me." Tightening the hug, she placed her ...

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The Peacekeeper: Halting a Murder

May 20, 1961. A group of African-American civil rights protesters led by John Lewis had just arrived at the bus station in Montgomery, Alabama, where a hate-filled white mob awaited them. As the mob closed in to attack with heavy clubs, Lewis urged his people: "Stand together. Don't run. Just stand together!" The mob yelled, "Kill him. Kill him." Murder might have ensued had not Floyd Mann charged into the bus station. Mann, Alabama's public safety commissioner, was a committed segregationist but tough on law and order. He fired his gun into the air and shouted, ...

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The Referee: Rules for Fair Fighting in Marriage

Susan and Rick's marriage was in trouble. They were fighting all the time: "You're wasting our money on trinkets!" he would shout. "What about you, Mr. Showboat, buying drinks for all your friends?" "That was last year! I'm talking about yesterday." "So what? All you're worried about is money when you ought to worry about what kind of father you're being to our kids!" And on it would go until he would threaten to move out and she became frantic. Their marriage counselor intervened, teaching them rules for carrying on an argument: to use "I" statements ...

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The Referee: The Non-Offensive Country

Switzerland is a nation that protects itself with nonoffensive defense. Centuries ago, it adopted a policy of armed neutrality, actively signaling its intention of threatening no one. Today, its armed forces have no nuclear weapons, no long-range aircraft, no heavy bombers, and no tanks capable of advancing deep into enemy territory. Its weapons consist instead of antiaircraft systems, antitank weapons, antitank traps, short-range aircraft, helicopters, and light vehicles suitable for mountain defense. Switzerland relies heavily on its own people. Teachers, bankers, ...

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The Witness: Speaking Out for Love

At the height of World War II, hundreds of Christian women turned out in the middle of Berlin to protest the arrest of their Jewish husbands, whom the Nazis were about to deport to the death camps. "Give us back our husbands," the women chanted. The Nazi police came out to disperse them with guns and fierce dogs. The women fled at first, but later regathered and continued their protest day after day before the eyes of ordinary Berliners, who served as Witnesses. Although the Nazi regime had no compunctions about massacring innocents, they were nonetheless reluct...

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